Frustration
Today, in hindsight, I find it amusing. Yesterday I was in sheer frustration over the expectations placed on me by my husband... or maybe it was the expectations I think he is placing on me. It started with a long talk about his stress levels and how they impacted our family and specifically our children. I wanted to discuss them with him to see if he saw his short temper and orders were concern to him as it was to myself. I also wanted to see what I could do to help alleviate some of the stressors in his life.

Everyone knows that moving is a significant stress maker, all psychologists will list this as one of the highest stress events in a persons life. That coupled with working in a newly relocated store has certainly elevated his stress levels. Those ones were obvious... I was looking for ones I could do something about.

Certainly having four children and their need and want for parental involvement and supervision in everything from playing a board game to altercations was high on the list. Balancing the need to finishing our yard, deck, basement and insulating the garage before winter with time with family also weighed heavily. Financial concerns are always on his mind as well, raising four children isn't easy.

Then came the ones I wanted to hear... or did I. He cited the work-in-progress sewing I have been doing since shortly after we moved. He mentioned the sinking sod alongside our house that needs to be attended to before the sod established, and the unfinished edging still to be installed. He then added that I spend too much time on the computer, which has long been a sore point between us. He knows I haven't played a computer game in years as most of my computer time is taken with business related work such as my book as well as my non-profit volunteer work with ICAN and the Lloydminster Doula Association. Even then, if I even spend an hour on the computer I call myself lucky. I won't contrast that with the hours he spends playing Civilization...

In my oh-so-brilliant belief that I could do something, I was envisioning solving his problems. So let's look at this shall we? I wake up at 7 am... on a good day. It can be as early as 5 depending on the two little ones and when they wake. I make meals, lunch for Allan, parent my four children almost exlusively (with all that entails), do laundry (every day), clean (no small task with four busy bodies), and delegate/followup on the kids' cleaning chores. I run my business from home so that involves email, phone, meetings, and errands. I also do the errands and the requests Allan has asked of me (and not always getting them done, another sore point he mentioned).

Today I have to pick up a parcel, thread for the sheers, and check lottery tickets... the rest was phone calls, all done this morning. Breanna's naptime is when I "work" - as in sewing, yardwork, basement. Right now I am running electrical to do as much prep for the electrician as I can. This morning I fixed the low spots by the house, after lunch I put in the remaining edging (yay!). The king size duvet cover I am sewing is half done, I hope to finish it today as well.. barring the zipper giving me a problem. As soon as Breanna wakes I have to run the recycling to the depot. Oh, I almost forgot, when we return, I need to supervise three bathroom cleanings.

That does not include updating the LDA website about their grand opening in October and helping plan upcoming Parent Education Nights, finishing the CDA website updates, calling Revenue Canada for ICAN/CIIA Canada's charity status information, calling two clients (one returned from holidays today), and of course my book. I think I forgot something... oh well, I am sure it will come to me before I drop into bed around 11 pm.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do, parenting my kids full time and the work I do, both with my business and volunteer. But it begs the question... it HAS to be easier to go to work for 9 hours, come home to a hot meal, even if a bit stressful with four children, and play an hour or so of Animal Crossing with the boys before bed.... right? Maybe I shouldn't be so worried about Allan's stress and let him find the answers for himself.

PS. I know I should not be so facetious, but only with finding the humour in it all can I not get frustrated. I did remember what I forgot though, to bring a stack of Birth Issues to the local library and pack the new MCI booklets (the parcel I picked up) for the Canadian ICAN chapters so I can send them out first thing Monday. Oh and the boxes we need to move downstairs after cleaning out the garage yesterday are still sitting in my entry too. I had better go!