An apology

This is to a former friend, you know who you are.

I know we have not talked for a long time in person or even on the phone. I find it difficult given the emotions I feel when I hear your voice, I think you understand. We have been through a lot since that fateful day when we first met, both excited about my move to Lloydminster and our collaboration to promote doulas in a town where you were the first.

I still grieve our lost friendship, we have a lot in common you and I. I sometimes think our shared hubris are what finally tore our friendship apart. You had started promoting doulas within Lloydminster and here I came with an established business to infringe on your work.

I know our communication skills could have been much better, we both assumed much and in doing so made some grave errors. For my assuming more than I should have, I am sorry.

I had an assumption that we could work cooperatively. What a difference we could have made if we each promoted on our own, so for that I am sorry for asking you to join our Mother Care team.

I assumed you understood our contract. I never meant to mislead you in any way and if you feel I did, then I am sorry. I explained our contract to you just as I did to all the other contracted Mother Care doulas and obviously I and our contract didn't do an adequate enough job in outlining our roles.

I am sorry that I gave you more liberations than I normally would any other contracted doula. We both knew I would not be living in Lloydminster long and my hope was to leave you as a strong, well organized and busy referral coordinator for Mother Care, just as I was able to leave Katelyn as our local referral coordinator in Camrose.

I am sorry that I didn't pull the belly cast kits from Blooming Gals. I know you now realize that some women would rather do their own belly cast, just as I did, and I too was focused on meeting those mother's needs, as I always have been. I didn't realize that you didn't understand that at the time.

As your mentor, I did you a disservice in not explaining professional relationships as well as I could have. I incorreclty believed your DONA training gave you that knowledge. For that I am sorry.

I am sorry I filed a grievance with DONA. I felt strongly at the time that you needed to be accountable to someone, even if only your certification organization. I had chosen not to press charges simply because I knew the outcome would not satisfy either of us and would cost us both money better spent on our families and businesses. I thought this would be a better option. I was wrong.

Your enthusiasm was amazing, you reminded me of myself when I first started Mother Care. I truly hope you have moved on with a positive frame of mind. I know I have, though sadly because of the broken bridges left behind.