Abdominal Massage
I am continually learning. I am like a sponge, seeking more information from every avenue and I absolutely love the adventure. For instance, I learned of the value of homeopathy from my midwife during my third pregnancy. When I felt the benefits personally during labour and the incredibly fast recovery from a cesarean with arnica, I dove in and self-taught all about what homeopathy was, its benefits during the perinatal period and the wonderful benefits to my family. But enough on that subject...
A few days ago I learned of an exciting massage called Maya Abdominal Massage. I had heard of the Mexican midwives doing “la sobada”, or abdominal massage, during pregnancy as a regular course of care. But I knew nothing, like the benefits or even the reasoning beyond a wonderful and relaxing massage for mom and baby.
Maya Abdominal Massage goes far beyond relaxation, and thus my excitement. The massage is centered around the ancient Mayan technique which repositions organs that have dropped and restricted the flow of blood, lymph, nerve and chi energy. For women, that means optimal positioning of her "center" which is her uterus.
Let me back up a bit. Before my first pregnancy, I was told I had a tilted uterus. I was lead to believe it was a problem, yet nothing was explained to me and modern medicine has no "cure" for this. Now I am learning that some of the medical concerns I have had in the past are directly related to this. You see, when it tilted to any side, it can "constrict normal flow of blood and lymph, and disrupt nerve connections. Just a few extra ounces sitting on blood and lymph vessels can cause havoc throughout the different systems in the body." (excerpted from Healing Wombs: Maya Abdominal Massage)
Rosita Arvigo, a Chicago naprapath, spent the last several decades in Central America, where she has studied with dozens of traditional healers and midwives, the most notable of whom was Don Elijio Panti, the renowned Maya shaman of Belize. Arvigo says 90% of women will have a misplaced or tipped uterus at some point in their lives. The causes include difficult labor and delivery with prolonged periods of pushing; poor professional care during pregnancy, labor and delivery; repeated pregnancies close together; falls to the sacrum; a career in aerobics or high impact sports and dancing; wearing high heel shoes; poor alignment of the pelvic bones with the spinal column; chronic muscle spasms around the hips, low back and sacrum; carrying young children on the hip for prolonged periods of time; rape, sexual abuse or incest at any time in life; chronic constipation; running or working on cement surfaces with improper foot support; and errors committed during surgery that cut through uterine ligaments.
I started out with a tilted uterus, how did that relate to my subsequent reproduction? Here are the symptoms of a tilted uterus:
• Painful or irregular periods
• Dark thick fluids at the beginning and end of the period
• Blood clots
• No menstruation at all
• Headaches, especially with the period
• Dizziness with the period
• Varicose veins
• Tired legs, numb feet or sore heals
• Lower back ache
• Infertility
• Endometriosis
• Endometritis
• Uterine Polyps
• Painful intercourse
• PMS
• Uterine infections
• Frequent urination
• Ovarian cysts
• Vaginitis
• Hormonal imbalances
• Difficult pregnancy and delivery
• Weak newborn infants
• Premature deliveries
• Difficult menopause
• Cancer of the cervix, uterus, colon or bladder
It can also lead to cesarean section, which I had three of, and I have had more than my share of the above symptoms in the last 12 years, including infertility, an ovarian cyst, lower back ache, tired legs and more. I learned it is incredibly useful for post-cesarean mothers in reducing the adhesions.
I am excited to say that I have found two practitioners in Edmonton who do this type of massage, one taught by Dr. Arvigo herself. For more information, check out www.arvigomassage.com.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Ancient Goddesses
I took a test today to see which goddess I was most like. I find the study of ancient greek and roman gods and goddesses intriguing as they are so much a part of our biblical history and impacted our lifespan as humans on this earth incredibly. The answer was very interesting, for me at least...
You scored 33.3% Athena
If you are ruled by Athena, you are bright-eyed, shrewd, resourceful and inventive. With friends, you are the wise counselor -- always ready with an empowering message. You are believe strongly that women can accomplish anything men can. No wonder you put so much time into your career. Athena women tend to be ruled by their head, not by their heart. You carefully guard your intimate side, protecting your emotions and vulnerability. If you want to awaken your unexpressed womanliness, you'll have to use the same passion you apply to your intellectual achievements. It's important that you work to integrate your strong masculine side with your feminine side -- bringing together your strength with your vulnerability, your creativity with caring, your intelligence with imagination. Otherwise, you risk coming off as unaffectionate and self-righteous.
You scored 33.3% Persephone
If you exemplify the qualities of Persephone, you have most likely experienced great loss in your life -- the loss of your health or your emotional or physical security, the betrayal of a friend or lover, the loss of a child, your own divorce or that of your parents. This experience has forced you to face the dark, unenlightened side of yourself (the side that blames other people or circumstances for your own suffering) and transform yourself into a stronger, more independent, more accepting and more loving person. It may have also led you down a spiritual path, and moved you to place great emphasis on inner calm and on close connections with friends. You are capable of embracing, integrating and accepting difficult experiences. Because of that skill, you offer others the gift of empathy -- you know where they are or have been.
Thank you Dr. Ninian for the traumatic birth experiences that allowed me to grow and transform into who I am today. Without those experiences, I most certainly would not be where I am today. Take the test yourself if you are interested, http://www.women.com/.
I took a test today to see which goddess I was most like. I find the study of ancient greek and roman gods and goddesses intriguing as they are so much a part of our biblical history and impacted our lifespan as humans on this earth incredibly. The answer was very interesting, for me at least...
You scored 33.3% Athena
If you are ruled by Athena, you are bright-eyed, shrewd, resourceful and inventive. With friends, you are the wise counselor -- always ready with an empowering message. You are believe strongly that women can accomplish anything men can. No wonder you put so much time into your career. Athena women tend to be ruled by their head, not by their heart. You carefully guard your intimate side, protecting your emotions and vulnerability. If you want to awaken your unexpressed womanliness, you'll have to use the same passion you apply to your intellectual achievements. It's important that you work to integrate your strong masculine side with your feminine side -- bringing together your strength with your vulnerability, your creativity with caring, your intelligence with imagination. Otherwise, you risk coming off as unaffectionate and self-righteous.
You scored 33.3% Persephone
If you exemplify the qualities of Persephone, you have most likely experienced great loss in your life -- the loss of your health or your emotional or physical security, the betrayal of a friend or lover, the loss of a child, your own divorce or that of your parents. This experience has forced you to face the dark, unenlightened side of yourself (the side that blames other people or circumstances for your own suffering) and transform yourself into a stronger, more independent, more accepting and more loving person. It may have also led you down a spiritual path, and moved you to place great emphasis on inner calm and on close connections with friends. You are capable of embracing, integrating and accepting difficult experiences. Because of that skill, you offer others the gift of empathy -- you know where they are or have been.
Thank you Dr. Ninian for the traumatic birth experiences that allowed me to grow and transform into who I am today. Without those experiences, I most certainly would not be where I am today. Take the test yourself if you are interested, http://www.women.com/.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Frustration
Today, in hindsight, I find it amusing. Yesterday I was in sheer frustration over the expectations placed on me by my husband... or maybe it was the expectations I think he is placing on me. It started with a long talk about his stress levels and how they impacted our family and specifically our children. I wanted to discuss them with him to see if he saw his short temper and orders were concern to him as it was to myself. I also wanted to see what I could do to help alleviate some of the stressors in his life.
Everyone knows that moving is a significant stress maker, all psychologists will list this as one of the highest stress events in a persons life. That coupled with working in a newly relocated store has certainly elevated his stress levels. Those ones were obvious... I was looking for ones I could do something about.
Certainly having four children and their need and want for parental involvement and supervision in everything from playing a board game to altercations was high on the list. Balancing the need to finishing our yard, deck, basement and insulating the garage before winter with time with family also weighed heavily. Financial concerns are always on his mind as well, raising four children isn't easy.
Then came the ones I wanted to hear... or did I. He cited the work-in-progress sewing I have been doing since shortly after we moved. He mentioned the sinking sod alongside our house that needs to be attended to before the sod established, and the unfinished edging still to be installed. He then added that I spend too much time on the computer, which has long been a sore point between us. He knows I haven't played a computer game in years as most of my computer time is taken with business related work such as my book as well as my non-profit volunteer work with ICAN and the Lloydminster Doula Association. Even then, if I even spend an hour on the computer I call myself lucky. I won't contrast that with the hours he spends playing Civilization...
In my oh-so-brilliant belief that I could do something, I was envisioning solving his problems. So let's look at this shall we? I wake up at 7 am... on a good day. It can be as early as 5 depending on the two little ones and when they wake. I make meals, lunch for Allan, parent my four children almost exlusively (with all that entails), do laundry (every day), clean (no small task with four busy bodies), and delegate/followup on the kids' cleaning chores. I run my business from home so that involves email, phone, meetings, and errands. I also do the errands and the requests Allan has asked of me (and not always getting them done, another sore point he mentioned).
Today I have to pick up a parcel, thread for the sheers, and check lottery tickets... the rest was phone calls, all done this morning. Breanna's naptime is when I "work" - as in sewing, yardwork, basement. Right now I am running electrical to do as much prep for the electrician as I can. This morning I fixed the low spots by the house, after lunch I put in the remaining edging (yay!). The king size duvet cover I am sewing is half done, I hope to finish it today as well.. barring the zipper giving me a problem. As soon as Breanna wakes I have to run the recycling to the depot. Oh, I almost forgot, when we return, I need to supervise three bathroom cleanings.
That does not include updating the LDA website about their grand opening in October and helping plan upcoming Parent Education Nights, finishing the CDA website updates, calling Revenue Canada for ICAN/CIIA Canada's charity status information, calling two clients (one returned from holidays today), and of course my book. I think I forgot something... oh well, I am sure it will come to me before I drop into bed around 11 pm.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do, parenting my kids full time and the work I do, both with my business and volunteer. But it begs the question... it HAS to be easier to go to work for 9 hours, come home to a hot meal, even if a bit stressful with four children, and play an hour or so of Animal Crossing with the boys before bed.... right? Maybe I shouldn't be so worried about Allan's stress and let him find the answers for himself.
PS. I know I should not be so facetious, but only with finding the humour in it all can I not get frustrated. I did remember what I forgot though, to bring a stack of Birth Issues to the local library and pack the new MCI booklets (the parcel I picked up) for the Canadian ICAN chapters so I can send them out first thing Monday. Oh and the boxes we need to move downstairs after cleaning out the garage yesterday are still sitting in my entry too. I had better go!
Today, in hindsight, I find it amusing. Yesterday I was in sheer frustration over the expectations placed on me by my husband... or maybe it was the expectations I think he is placing on me. It started with a long talk about his stress levels and how they impacted our family and specifically our children. I wanted to discuss them with him to see if he saw his short temper and orders were concern to him as it was to myself. I also wanted to see what I could do to help alleviate some of the stressors in his life.
Everyone knows that moving is a significant stress maker, all psychologists will list this as one of the highest stress events in a persons life. That coupled with working in a newly relocated store has certainly elevated his stress levels. Those ones were obvious... I was looking for ones I could do something about.
Certainly having four children and their need and want for parental involvement and supervision in everything from playing a board game to altercations was high on the list. Balancing the need to finishing our yard, deck, basement and insulating the garage before winter with time with family also weighed heavily. Financial concerns are always on his mind as well, raising four children isn't easy.
Then came the ones I wanted to hear... or did I. He cited the work-in-progress sewing I have been doing since shortly after we moved. He mentioned the sinking sod alongside our house that needs to be attended to before the sod established, and the unfinished edging still to be installed. He then added that I spend too much time on the computer, which has long been a sore point between us. He knows I haven't played a computer game in years as most of my computer time is taken with business related work such as my book as well as my non-profit volunteer work with ICAN and the Lloydminster Doula Association. Even then, if I even spend an hour on the computer I call myself lucky. I won't contrast that with the hours he spends playing Civilization...
In my oh-so-brilliant belief that I could do something, I was envisioning solving his problems. So let's look at this shall we? I wake up at 7 am... on a good day. It can be as early as 5 depending on the two little ones and when they wake. I make meals, lunch for Allan, parent my four children almost exlusively (with all that entails), do laundry (every day), clean (no small task with four busy bodies), and delegate/followup on the kids' cleaning chores. I run my business from home so that involves email, phone, meetings, and errands. I also do the errands and the requests Allan has asked of me (and not always getting them done, another sore point he mentioned).
Today I have to pick up a parcel, thread for the sheers, and check lottery tickets... the rest was phone calls, all done this morning. Breanna's naptime is when I "work" - as in sewing, yardwork, basement. Right now I am running electrical to do as much prep for the electrician as I can. This morning I fixed the low spots by the house, after lunch I put in the remaining edging (yay!). The king size duvet cover I am sewing is half done, I hope to finish it today as well.. barring the zipper giving me a problem. As soon as Breanna wakes I have to run the recycling to the depot. Oh, I almost forgot, when we return, I need to supervise three bathroom cleanings.
That does not include updating the LDA website about their grand opening in October and helping plan upcoming Parent Education Nights, finishing the CDA website updates, calling Revenue Canada for ICAN/CIIA Canada's charity status information, calling two clients (one returned from holidays today), and of course my book. I think I forgot something... oh well, I am sure it will come to me before I drop into bed around 11 pm.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do, parenting my kids full time and the work I do, both with my business and volunteer. But it begs the question... it HAS to be easier to go to work for 9 hours, come home to a hot meal, even if a bit stressful with four children, and play an hour or so of Animal Crossing with the boys before bed.... right? Maybe I shouldn't be so worried about Allan's stress and let him find the answers for himself.
PS. I know I should not be so facetious, but only with finding the humour in it all can I not get frustrated. I did remember what I forgot though, to bring a stack of Birth Issues to the local library and pack the new MCI booklets (the parcel I picked up) for the Canadian ICAN chapters so I can send them out first thing Monday. Oh and the boxes we need to move downstairs after cleaning out the garage yesterday are still sitting in my entry too. I had better go!
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Copyrights and Plagiarizm
I have found many instances in my professional life where I have not fully understood copyright and plagiarizm. I gave myself a primer on the Canadian Copyright Act and reflection on the meaning of plagiarism recently, learn with me.
Ownership of Copyright: Subject to this Act, the author of a work shall be the first owner of the copyright therein. R.S., 1985, c. C-42, s. 13; 1997, c. 24, s. 10.
Term of Coyright: The term for which copyright shall subsist shall, except as otherwise expressly provided by this Act, be the life of the author, the remainder of the calendar year in which the author dies, and a period of fifty years following the end of that calendar year. R.S., 1985, c. C-42, s. 6; 1993, c. 44, s. 58.
Plagiarizm (from Webster's 1913 dictionary) is: \Pla"gia*rize\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. {Plagiarized}; p.pr. & vb. n. {Plagiarizing}.]To steal or purloin from the writings of another; to appropriate without due acknowledgement (the ideas or expressions of another).
I have found many instances in my professional life where I have not fully understood copyright and plagiarizm. I gave myself a primer on the Canadian Copyright Act and reflection on the meaning of plagiarism recently, learn with me.
Ownership of Copyright: Subject to this Act, the author of a work shall be the first owner of the copyright therein. R.S., 1985, c. C-42, s. 13; 1997, c. 24, s. 10.
Term of Coyright: The term for which copyright shall subsist shall, except as otherwise expressly provided by this Act, be the life of the author, the remainder of the calendar year in which the author dies, and a period of fifty years following the end of that calendar year. R.S., 1985, c. C-42, s. 6; 1993, c. 44, s. 58.
Plagiarizm (from Webster's 1913 dictionary) is: \Pla"gia*rize\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. {Plagiarized}; p.pr. & vb. n. {Plagiarizing}.]To steal or purloin from the writings of another; to appropriate without due acknowledgement (the ideas or expressions of another).
An apology
This is to a former friend, you know who you are.
I know we have not talked for a long time in person or even on the phone. I find it difficult given the emotions I feel when I hear your voice, I think you understand. We have been through a lot since that fateful day when we first met, both excited about my move to Lloydminster and our collaboration to promote doulas in a town where you were the first.
I still grieve our lost friendship, we have a lot in common you and I. I sometimes think our shared hubris are what finally tore our friendship apart. You had started promoting doulas within Lloydminster and here I came with an established business to infringe on your work.
I know our communication skills could have been much better, we both assumed much and in doing so made some grave errors. For my assuming more than I should have, I am sorry.
I had an assumption that we could work cooperatively. What a difference we could have made if we each promoted on our own, so for that I am sorry for asking you to join our Mother Care team.
I assumed you understood our contract. I never meant to mislead you in any way and if you feel I did, then I am sorry. I explained our contract to you just as I did to all the other contracted Mother Care doulas and obviously I and our contract didn't do an adequate enough job in outlining our roles.
I am sorry that I gave you more liberations than I normally would any other contracted doula. We both knew I would not be living in Lloydminster long and my hope was to leave you as a strong, well organized and busy referral coordinator for Mother Care, just as I was able to leave Katelyn as our local referral coordinator in Camrose.
I am sorry that I didn't pull the belly cast kits from Blooming Gals. I know you now realize that some women would rather do their own belly cast, just as I did, and I too was focused on meeting those mother's needs, as I always have been. I didn't realize that you didn't understand that at the time.
As your mentor, I did you a disservice in not explaining professional relationships as well as I could have. I incorreclty believed your DONA training gave you that knowledge. For that I am sorry.
I am sorry I filed a grievance with DONA. I felt strongly at the time that you needed to be accountable to someone, even if only your certification organization. I had chosen not to press charges simply because I knew the outcome would not satisfy either of us and would cost us both money better spent on our families and businesses. I thought this would be a better option. I was wrong.
Your enthusiasm was amazing, you reminded me of myself when I first started Mother Care. I truly hope you have moved on with a positive frame of mind. I know I have, though sadly because of the broken bridges left behind.
I know we have not talked for a long time in person or even on the phone. I find it difficult given the emotions I feel when I hear your voice, I think you understand. We have been through a lot since that fateful day when we first met, both excited about my move to Lloydminster and our collaboration to promote doulas in a town where you were the first.
I still grieve our lost friendship, we have a lot in common you and I. I sometimes think our shared hubris are what finally tore our friendship apart. You had started promoting doulas within Lloydminster and here I came with an established business to infringe on your work.
I know our communication skills could have been much better, we both assumed much and in doing so made some grave errors. For my assuming more than I should have, I am sorry.
I had an assumption that we could work cooperatively. What a difference we could have made if we each promoted on our own, so for that I am sorry for asking you to join our Mother Care team.
I assumed you understood our contract. I never meant to mislead you in any way and if you feel I did, then I am sorry. I explained our contract to you just as I did to all the other contracted Mother Care doulas and obviously I and our contract didn't do an adequate enough job in outlining our roles.
I am sorry that I gave you more liberations than I normally would any other contracted doula. We both knew I would not be living in Lloydminster long and my hope was to leave you as a strong, well organized and busy referral coordinator for Mother Care, just as I was able to leave Katelyn as our local referral coordinator in Camrose.
I am sorry that I didn't pull the belly cast kits from Blooming Gals. I know you now realize that some women would rather do their own belly cast, just as I did, and I too was focused on meeting those mother's needs, as I always have been. I didn't realize that you didn't understand that at the time.
As your mentor, I did you a disservice in not explaining professional relationships as well as I could have. I incorreclty believed your DONA training gave you that knowledge. For that I am sorry.
I am sorry I filed a grievance with DONA. I felt strongly at the time that you needed to be accountable to someone, even if only your certification organization. I had chosen not to press charges simply because I knew the outcome would not satisfy either of us and would cost us both money better spent on our families and businesses. I thought this would be a better option. I was wrong.
Your enthusiasm was amazing, you reminded me of myself when I first started Mother Care. I truly hope you have moved on with a positive frame of mind. I know I have, though sadly because of the broken bridges left behind.
Tragedy
Three weeks ago one of the assistant managers that worked alongside Allan had a motorcycle accident. He had just purchased a new machine hours earlier and for some reason he lost control and hit a grocery store window next to his apartment building before careening across a highway and into a cemetery. No one knows why he wasn't wearing his helmet or what really led up to his hitting the window, but he has been in a drug-induced coma as they let his brain heal since that awful day. They have tried several times to pull him out of the coma, but each time his intracranial pressure rose too much and they would have to stop. This week they have been very slowly reducing his meds, which had been working until last night. He had a stroke and died shortly after, he was 24 years old.
Allan went into work early today, called in to help the staff as they learn of Brian's death and to help keep the store running while the other managers grieve as well. He is also hoping to get a memorial organized for the store, as Brian will likely be buried in BC where he grew up and his family resides.
Death is never easy, but when death happens so young it is doubly difficult. Parents should never outlive their parents, but it happens too frequently. I cannot imagine losing one of my own children. I have been thinking a lot today about my former employer whose daughter died in a vehicle rollover when riding with friends several years ago. She was only sixteen and her death devastated her parents. I pray for strength for Brian's parents as they grieve their young son's death.
Three weeks ago one of the assistant managers that worked alongside Allan had a motorcycle accident. He had just purchased a new machine hours earlier and for some reason he lost control and hit a grocery store window next to his apartment building before careening across a highway and into a cemetery. No one knows why he wasn't wearing his helmet or what really led up to his hitting the window, but he has been in a drug-induced coma as they let his brain heal since that awful day. They have tried several times to pull him out of the coma, but each time his intracranial pressure rose too much and they would have to stop. This week they have been very slowly reducing his meds, which had been working until last night. He had a stroke and died shortly after, he was 24 years old.
Allan went into work early today, called in to help the staff as they learn of Brian's death and to help keep the store running while the other managers grieve as well. He is also hoping to get a memorial organized for the store, as Brian will likely be buried in BC where he grew up and his family resides.
Death is never easy, but when death happens so young it is doubly difficult. Parents should never outlive their parents, but it happens too frequently. I cannot imagine losing one of my own children. I have been thinking a lot today about my former employer whose daughter died in a vehicle rollover when riding with friends several years ago. She was only sixteen and her death devastated her parents. I pray for strength for Brian's parents as they grieve their young son's death.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Sewing
I have been sewing a lot since we moved in to our new house in May. It has become a ritual with each new home we purchase, to make the drapes, valances, pillows, shams, and whatever else we need to change to fit with the latest house's decor. It is almost a bonding with our new home as we go from "open concept" (in this case meaning a view of our neighbourhood beyond the unshuttered windows) to our concluded cocoon of drapery fabrics and blinds, which allows us to view our neighbourhood when we wish.
Today I am finishing up the many valances that coordinate our main floor living space. They are of the same material as the living room drapes, the first project to be completed when we moved in. We found beautiful fabrics to coordinate with the drape material and our new sofas for pillows. I have made to huge floor pillows as well, a great place for the constant overflow of children we have at our house. Our bedroom is looking amazing, I have finished the drapes, bed skirt, pillow shams and three wonderful comfy pillows to read or watch TV in bed with. The only thing left is the duvet cover and I am finished. Just in time as we prepare for the school year ahead.
I find sewing very cathartic. Since I have done it all my life, it takes little thought beyond the initial planning, thus allowing me the ability to think and dream and reflect. I have been focused lately on the upcoming year as we plan school and my stream of workshops this fall and next spring. Everything is close to ready, including the new Childbirth Educator manual I am authoring for the Global Birth Institute. Exciting days ahead!
I have been sewing a lot since we moved in to our new house in May. It has become a ritual with each new home we purchase, to make the drapes, valances, pillows, shams, and whatever else we need to change to fit with the latest house's decor. It is almost a bonding with our new home as we go from "open concept" (in this case meaning a view of our neighbourhood beyond the unshuttered windows) to our concluded cocoon of drapery fabrics and blinds, which allows us to view our neighbourhood when we wish.
Today I am finishing up the many valances that coordinate our main floor living space. They are of the same material as the living room drapes, the first project to be completed when we moved in. We found beautiful fabrics to coordinate with the drape material and our new sofas for pillows. I have made to huge floor pillows as well, a great place for the constant overflow of children we have at our house. Our bedroom is looking amazing, I have finished the drapes, bed skirt, pillow shams and three wonderful comfy pillows to read or watch TV in bed with. The only thing left is the duvet cover and I am finished. Just in time as we prepare for the school year ahead.
I find sewing very cathartic. Since I have done it all my life, it takes little thought beyond the initial planning, thus allowing me the ability to think and dream and reflect. I have been focused lately on the upcoming year as we plan school and my stream of workshops this fall and next spring. Everything is close to ready, including the new Childbirth Educator manual I am authoring for the Global Birth Institute. Exciting days ahead!
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Ethics
I recieved a call from wonderfully ambitious doula who is a friend of mine. She, along five other doulas, have spent countless hours putting together and promoting a non-profit doula organization designed to promote and refer doula services within her city and surrounding areas. They have incorporated as a non-profit within their province, opened an office where they can meet clients and teach them, and pooled their resources to further the doula profession very professionally.
In conversation she told me that a doula in her area, who is not part of this group, has chosen to take their idea, rename it and start her own referral business.
My friend is not bothered at all with what this doula is doing, beyond the concern that she is giving doulas a less-than-reputable name. We both believe that the more doulas available to support women, the better off the community.
This doula has chosen not to work cooperatively with other professional doulas in her city, and that is fine. My heart goes out to her as she struggles to promote herself given the name she has made for herself as being strange and in-your-face. Marketing to expectant parents takes certain finesse, a give and take that builds trust... a vital component in a doula/client relationship. She has told potential clients about her being the only doula in the city, which is obviously not true and she is well aware of that. This only confuses potential clients and instantly builds distrust. I wonder what she is thinking as she continues along this route. She would do well to explore ethics in her future business plans.
I recieved a call from wonderfully ambitious doula who is a friend of mine. She, along five other doulas, have spent countless hours putting together and promoting a non-profit doula organization designed to promote and refer doula services within her city and surrounding areas. They have incorporated as a non-profit within their province, opened an office where they can meet clients and teach them, and pooled their resources to further the doula profession very professionally.
In conversation she told me that a doula in her area, who is not part of this group, has chosen to take their idea, rename it and start her own referral business.
My friend is not bothered at all with what this doula is doing, beyond the concern that she is giving doulas a less-than-reputable name. We both believe that the more doulas available to support women, the better off the community.
This doula has chosen not to work cooperatively with other professional doulas in her city, and that is fine. My heart goes out to her as she struggles to promote herself given the name she has made for herself as being strange and in-your-face. Marketing to expectant parents takes certain finesse, a give and take that builds trust... a vital component in a doula/client relationship. She has told potential clients about her being the only doula in the city, which is obviously not true and she is well aware of that. This only confuses potential clients and instantly builds distrust. I wonder what she is thinking as she continues along this route. She would do well to explore ethics in her future business plans.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Toddler Musings
A toddler with a black felt marker or ball point pen is a force to be reckoned with. To take it away guarantees screams loud enough to wake the neighbours and to not take away means certain graffiti. Unbenounced to me, Breanna must have found a red pen and chose to autograph the new valances I have been sewing for our house. Thankfully it is a small mark, so it went untouched as I finished them on the table bearing much larger black felt marker prints, having missed the paper she had started on. I keep meaning to scrub them off, but I like the warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach when I see them and remember the look on her face when she had finished her artwork. I wonder how long it will take anyone else before they spot her valance art.
A toddler with a black felt marker or ball point pen is a force to be reckoned with. To take it away guarantees screams loud enough to wake the neighbours and to not take away means certain graffiti. Unbenounced to me, Breanna must have found a red pen and chose to autograph the new valances I have been sewing for our house. Thankfully it is a small mark, so it went untouched as I finished them on the table bearing much larger black felt marker prints, having missed the paper she had started on. I keep meaning to scrub them off, but I like the warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach when I see them and remember the look on her face when she had finished her artwork. I wonder how long it will take anyone else before they spot her valance art.
Feminism and Family Values
Growing up, feminism was a huge part of who I was. The thought of not having choices like we do today in the workforce was appauling. Women are in almost every profession today and we bring to those professions a lot of skills, knowledge and perspective which has improved those professions. Our foremothers gave us all a great gift which we often take for granted today.
However, have we taken it too far? Traditionally women were to stay home to raise, care for and teach the children. This paradym shifted with women entering the work force. Today our society is based on a two income family, making it increasingly difficult for single income families to make ends meet. With two working parents, children are now being raised by daycares and schools rather than their own parents. To make up for their absence, parents are spending more money on their children by sending them to better schools, enrolling them in extra-curricular activities, and giving them every toy and DVD on the market. Each of these takes even more time from family... at what cost?
Allan and I specifically chose to have each of our children. In making the concious decision to become a mother, I also was making the decision to switch my focus from career to family for the next 18 years with each child we had. To me, having children means parenting them fully, not just when convenient or in the precious few hours between work hours and sleep. Allan and I both agreed that a full-time parent was integral to our having children and we have often discussed who should fulfill that role. At first it was him, but in the end we decided I was the one to stay at home, where I still am today.
A quandry I often face in today's society is how full time parents are viewed. If you are not a supermom/dad (juggling work and family) you are somehow a lesser person. Points go to parents who quickly add that they homeschool, yet even that doesn't equal a working parents status. I see those who work so hard they have nothing left to bring home to their children and I see children who act out to seek attention. I see overworked mothers who burn out, adrenals overworked and health ignored while they struggle to do it all. Depression is found everywhere, overworked working parents, full-time parents who feel second-class, kids who need more... where does it stop?
Growing up, feminism was a huge part of who I was. The thought of not having choices like we do today in the workforce was appauling. Women are in almost every profession today and we bring to those professions a lot of skills, knowledge and perspective which has improved those professions. Our foremothers gave us all a great gift which we often take for granted today.
However, have we taken it too far? Traditionally women were to stay home to raise, care for and teach the children. This paradym shifted with women entering the work force. Today our society is based on a two income family, making it increasingly difficult for single income families to make ends meet. With two working parents, children are now being raised by daycares and schools rather than their own parents. To make up for their absence, parents are spending more money on their children by sending them to better schools, enrolling them in extra-curricular activities, and giving them every toy and DVD on the market. Each of these takes even more time from family... at what cost?
Allan and I specifically chose to have each of our children. In making the concious decision to become a mother, I also was making the decision to switch my focus from career to family for the next 18 years with each child we had. To me, having children means parenting them fully, not just when convenient or in the precious few hours between work hours and sleep. Allan and I both agreed that a full-time parent was integral to our having children and we have often discussed who should fulfill that role. At first it was him, but in the end we decided I was the one to stay at home, where I still am today.
A quandry I often face in today's society is how full time parents are viewed. If you are not a supermom/dad (juggling work and family) you are somehow a lesser person. Points go to parents who quickly add that they homeschool, yet even that doesn't equal a working parents status. I see those who work so hard they have nothing left to bring home to their children and I see children who act out to seek attention. I see overworked mothers who burn out, adrenals overworked and health ignored while they struggle to do it all. Depression is found everywhere, overworked working parents, full-time parents who feel second-class, kids who need more... where does it stop?
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