My sister and I had a wonderful visit today when she came over with her two children. The combined menagerie, which included several neighbour children, had a blast outside in the heat under the sprinkler while we hid from the heat indoors with her four month old.
Our conversation turned to the huge guilt mother's face with every decision made... birth options, vaccination, breastfeeding, home vs work, daycare vs dayhome, school vs home school... the list is endless. The reason we discussed this was because of her daughter's language testing today which showed her to be mildly delayed in hard sounds and my sister was given several pages of information on how to support her with these sounds. From my experience of having a son with severe receptive and expressive language delays and the incessent testing the so-called experts continue to want him to do, I encouraged her to realize that her daughter's delay in this area was only a very small part of who she was and not to be discouraged by this so that she continues to seek other's opinions about her daughter. She knew what her daughter needed best!
You see, I learned the hard way that my instincts and knowledge about my son were completely accurate... his delays in one area of his life as well as his gifts and talents in other areas. When I sought outside support to supplement my skills in parenting my son, I had no idea the pain it would cause as expert after expert, in their own way, made me doubt my parenting skills by insisting that a structured school environment was what he neede most. Their whole focus was to integrate him into a classroom situation yet their recommendations strangely pointed in the opposite direction... individualized support, calm and structured enviroment, etc. It was in realizing that school was their only paradigm and they could not see outside of that box that I realized the truth, I was doing what was best with my own parenting skills and our decision to homeschool him along with his older brothers who have always been homeschooled. So while we can indeed access outside support, we also have to realize where that expert is coming from and base the accuracy of thier input on that... and to know that we are our children's parents and it is our right to make the best choices for them, despite outside opinions.
Our conversation turned to the huge guilt mother's face with every decision made... birth options, vaccination, breastfeeding, home vs work, daycare vs dayhome, school vs home school... the list is endless. The reason we discussed this was because of her daughter's language testing today which showed her to be mildly delayed in hard sounds and my sister was given several pages of information on how to support her with these sounds. From my experience of having a son with severe receptive and expressive language delays and the incessent testing the so-called experts continue to want him to do, I encouraged her to realize that her daughter's delay in this area was only a very small part of who she was and not to be discouraged by this so that she continues to seek other's opinions about her daughter. She knew what her daughter needed best!
You see, I learned the hard way that my instincts and knowledge about my son were completely accurate... his delays in one area of his life as well as his gifts and talents in other areas. When I sought outside support to supplement my skills in parenting my son, I had no idea the pain it would cause as expert after expert, in their own way, made me doubt my parenting skills by insisting that a structured school environment was what he neede most. Their whole focus was to integrate him into a classroom situation yet their recommendations strangely pointed in the opposite direction... individualized support, calm and structured enviroment, etc. It was in realizing that school was their only paradigm and they could not see outside of that box that I realized the truth, I was doing what was best with my own parenting skills and our decision to homeschool him along with his older brothers who have always been homeschooled. So while we can indeed access outside support, we also have to realize where that expert is coming from and base the accuracy of thier input on that... and to know that we are our children's parents and it is our right to make the best choices for them, despite outside opinions.
1 comment:
I hope you have had a good summer--and are just busy...!
Hh
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