I am Truly Blessed

It is now four years after my divorce was finalized. My life has evolved to transcend the ruthlessly horrible and excruciatingly painful last years of my marriage and subsequent nightmarish divorce proceedings that lasted over four long years. The traumatic effects caused by the emotional abuse of my narcissist ex-husband caused cognitive impairment, memory problems, impaired neurogenesis, and complex PTSD. It took over five years to heal from these psychiatric injuries that resulted from my marriage and divorce. While I would never wish my experience upon my worsed enemy, I learned a great deal about myself, my former partner, and my children as we were torn apart by abuse and anger.

Indeed a phoenix emerged from the carnage. I am no longer the insipid, fearful woman who experienced almost constant panic attacks during my marriage. I am confident and successful. Having to work two jobs to pay my imputed child support and going to school full time as I work towards my MBA paid off in spades. My career has blossomed into something of great beauty and I love every minute I am working. My friendships have grown deep and I treasure each one. My family has steadfastly supported me, and continues to be my lifeline, as I am now able to be there for them.

Wonderfully, another unexpected phoenix has borne forth. My daughter, an amazing, resilient young woman, wise beyond her years, has steadfastly weathered the continued emotional abuse and threats her father bestows on her. While her brothers succumbed to his threats and I rarely see them, she insists on sharing her time equally with me and her brothers (who live with their father). She continues to be there for them as they learn and grow while they weather their fathers abuse. She does struggle to find her way through this changing world, yet she does it with a grace and patience that astounds me. I love you my precious phoenix.

Yes, I am truly blessed.