Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Delicious Dreams

I have loved dreams since I was young. They allow me to explore my psyche and go places I normally would not go. As a teen I had one reoccurring nightmare I couldn't shake. I worked hard to remember my dreams upon waking and that ability has stayed with me. I also learned how to know I was in a dream, if I chose, and how to fall back into a dream at will to change the course or just continue on with that experience. I was able to find out what that nightmare meant and in time it no longer occupied dream space in my slumber. Some of my dreams are wonderful and delicious while others can be painful and even downright terrifying. It's amazing what you learn about yourself by walking through your dreams!

The dream I had is one that has been reoccurring since my ex took away my two oldest sons. I've rarely spend time with them since. I miss them so badly I cry almost every day, but it doesn't change the fact that they no longer live with me. In these dreams, we are living together again, my four children and myself. Sometimes we live with other people who are in our lives, sometimes not. We live in the top of an eight floor condominium project in Hawaii somewhere. Our expansive balcony (wrapping around two sides of our condo) overlooks a large pool on one side with a view of the ocean and the other side looks over the city where we live. I have no idea what city that is, a moot point really. I know the layout of the condo and grounds very well from having lived there in my dreams so long.

In my dream last night we moved down to the third floor condo, what a pain that was. I hate moving and it wasn't fun in our dream either. Our new place had the same layout as our first. It is just closer to the pool and far less windy than the top floor. Actually, that was our main reason for moving, combined with the fact that a family had offered to purchase our condo for more than we had paid, and the lower unit had just come up and was newly renovated. Our Bree's loved our new space and set about making it ours posthaste. Brian and the boys all focused on electrical equipment of course. While they were working on that, Eric and I took a break and had gone up to meet our new neighbours. They were a fantastic couple with two girls we met and a third who wasn't there. We were introducing the girls to other kids in our condo complex when the alarm woke me for work.

I laid in bed for a few minutes letting the experience was over me, how fun it is to spend time as a family again, even if in my dreams.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Summer

My absolutely favourite season is summer. Hot days, the sound of quaking aspen leaves, the smell of newly mown grass and canola fields blooming. Thunder showers that show the incredible strength of Mother Nature, the sound of birds chirping and bees humming, and watching horses run bucking across the pasture. Long days and lazy evenings sitting on the deck with a drink or watching a fire by moonlight.

Here we are closing in on the end of the second of our three month summers... far too short a season for a summer lover! I dreamt last night that I pursuaded our x's to move to BC with us to indulge my need for a longer summer season. In reality, that wouldn't happen, but it was a wonderful dream to dream.

So I am enjoying every drop I can out of this summer. Motorbike rides with Brian, training Eric's horse, hanging with my sister Tracy at her acreage, and as much time as possible outdoors encouraging the mudhens and dragonflies to eat as many mosquitoes as they can.