My sister Tracy and I started a small business called Informed Birth Choices in 1996 just after I had taken a Beginning Midwifery course from a local midwife, Noreen Walker. Our company provided doula support and childbirth education to our clients. Unfortunately we had to part ways because of my now ex-husband and his control issues. We chose to own two separate companies, mine newly renamed Mother Care.
Mother Care grew and expanded slowly at first, then picking up speed as we moved into the 21st Century. I provided the same services and expanded into a monthly magazine, a birth catalogue and prenatal/birth photography. My having two children during that time slowed down the services aspect but the birth catalogue kept growing and growing. The newsletter fell by the wayside when we moved to another city (transferred because of my ex-husbands job) but I moved to writing for other birth industry periodicals. My sister Terri and I had joined forces with the photography and she is a truly gifted photographer. I knew that my ex-husband would make it difficult so I asked her to start her own company and I would refer to her, no way for my ex to interfere. She started Terri McKinney Photography which took off and far surpassed our expectations.
Rosenthal Perinatal College was born along with my fourth baby. I had been teaching for other certification organizations and knew that I wanted to provide more than what they were. Our certifications not only are through an accredited post secondary institution, they provide a comprehensive education and a continuing support system for students. We will be relaunching in April, watch for us!
By then the catalogue portion of my company had grown so big I couldn't keep up. As a home-based business, I ran it all from home. I couldn't afford both retail space and childcare for when I was 'at work'. My ex-husband wouldn't allow me to bring an 'employee' into 'his' house so I didn't have a choice. I sold the catalogue, a very sad day.
We moved to Spruce Grove after that and the College did well but I wasn't able to go back to doula support with four children, too busy and too expensive for childcare. Two years later I filed for divorce and put my businesses on the back burner as I dealt with courts, custody issues and working two jobs to pay for child support.
A new decade dawned, five years had passed, and I was approached by two birth professionals who were students from my college. They asked me to start working in birth again, to assist them in their birth journey, to join forces and work together. I contemplated this for six months before deciding as I had to complete a few things before I could dedicate myself to this again.
We are now working hard on bringing Mother Care back, but in a much larger way. We have renamed it Labours of Luv by Mother Care and Rosenthal Perinatal College will once again be teaching and mentoring students. We are launching in April, watch for us!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
From the Ashes
A phoenix is a spectacular mythical bird with brilliant plumage. The phoenix builds a nest of twigs and ends its life by setting itself on fire. From the ashes emerges a new, baby phoenix, life reincarnated. My life very much has paralleled that of a phoenix.
Five years ago I had two choices facing me, the only two options I felt I had. One was to leave my husband of nineteen years and become a single mother of my four precious children. The other was to commit suicide. I could no longer go on living with the abuse and allow my children to suffer. A dear friend talked me out of the latter and my children, in wanting to leave as well, confirmed that the former was the correct choice.
The path was incredibly hard from that summer until now... far more difficult that I could have imagined. More than once I pondered if I had made the correct choice. When the father of your children threatens to kill them then is given primary residency by the courts the following year. When you are kept from your three-year-old daughter by your vengeful ex-husband and forced from your home. When your legal aid lawyer lets you down at every step yet you are unable to afford a lawyer who had your best interest in mind. When you cry yourself to sleep every night knowing the tears flowing in your former home by your children because of the yelling that day.
Today is still difficult. I have my two youngest children every other week and I cherish every moment I have with them. My two oldest are still too afraid to see or talk to me very much because of their fear of their father. I know that fear well and I truly understand why, but it still hurts so badly to not see them grow up into the incredible men they are becoming. I still cry every day.
Today is hopeful. I have a day job that I love. The difficult and treacherous road Richmond Transport Inc. and I have been on is starting to pay off. I started the trucking company to pay for my children's secondary education because I knew I could never afford it with my day job. Two dear friends are pulling me back to the birth world and the work that I love... supporting birthing mothers and the professionals who care for them. More on that later.
Today is exciting. I have met a man who defines what a modern man is. He is all male, broad of shoulder and thin of hip, a perfect specimen. He is a hard worker and loves his job. He had an artistic side, he was a professional musician and continues to hone his love of music. He is an excellent cook and a meticulous housekeeper. He loves his two children. We are enjoying our time together.
Today is healthy. I no longer have panic attacks, a once common thread in my life as I anticipated the wrath of my ex-husband often. I have self-esteem, something I had long forgotten when I was blamed for everything and put down constantly. I now exercise regularly, I eat very healthy and I am loving my fit body.
Today is a new normal. Very busy but balanced. Family is first, always has been and always will be. The rest (work, exercise, etc.) follows behind but with plenty of 'me' time which everyone supports, just as I support their alone time.
This phoenix was in the proverbial ashes for a long time. However the new phoenix I have become is a better, stronger and happier phoenix. I am excited about my future!
Five years ago I had two choices facing me, the only two options I felt I had. One was to leave my husband of nineteen years and become a single mother of my four precious children. The other was to commit suicide. I could no longer go on living with the abuse and allow my children to suffer. A dear friend talked me out of the latter and my children, in wanting to leave as well, confirmed that the former was the correct choice.
The path was incredibly hard from that summer until now... far more difficult that I could have imagined. More than once I pondered if I had made the correct choice. When the father of your children threatens to kill them then is given primary residency by the courts the following year. When you are kept from your three-year-old daughter by your vengeful ex-husband and forced from your home. When your legal aid lawyer lets you down at every step yet you are unable to afford a lawyer who had your best interest in mind. When you cry yourself to sleep every night knowing the tears flowing in your former home by your children because of the yelling that day.
Today is still difficult. I have my two youngest children every other week and I cherish every moment I have with them. My two oldest are still too afraid to see or talk to me very much because of their fear of their father. I know that fear well and I truly understand why, but it still hurts so badly to not see them grow up into the incredible men they are becoming. I still cry every day.
Today is hopeful. I have a day job that I love. The difficult and treacherous road Richmond Transport Inc. and I have been on is starting to pay off. I started the trucking company to pay for my children's secondary education because I knew I could never afford it with my day job. Two dear friends are pulling me back to the birth world and the work that I love... supporting birthing mothers and the professionals who care for them. More on that later.
Today is exciting. I have met a man who defines what a modern man is. He is all male, broad of shoulder and thin of hip, a perfect specimen. He is a hard worker and loves his job. He had an artistic side, he was a professional musician and continues to hone his love of music. He is an excellent cook and a meticulous housekeeper. He loves his two children. We are enjoying our time together.
Today is healthy. I no longer have panic attacks, a once common thread in my life as I anticipated the wrath of my ex-husband often. I have self-esteem, something I had long forgotten when I was blamed for everything and put down constantly. I now exercise regularly, I eat very healthy and I am loving my fit body.
Today is a new normal. Very busy but balanced. Family is first, always has been and always will be. The rest (work, exercise, etc.) follows behind but with plenty of 'me' time which everyone supports, just as I support their alone time.
This phoenix was in the proverbial ashes for a long time. However the new phoenix I have become is a better, stronger and happier phoenix. I am excited about my future!
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